Just the Two of Us

I've been thinking a lot today that I'm really glad that I blog. I do it so that one day I can look back at silly randomness we do or at days that really stunk to realize there are always more good than bad. I was just scrolling through past posts and came across this one from August 5th titled "Today Rocked". I thought, "hmmm...what did we do on August 5th?" Summer camp?? 

Nope.

We played tennis and went swimming at our apt pool together.

Like swimming like little kids. Like flip contests and Matt pulling me around by my legs type swimming, lol. 

Then I realized how much I cherish the memory of that day. 

Matt and I won't have anymore days where the two of us just go play tennis and then wander down to the pool together and have contests doing flips. There will forever always be a little one or two..or three...or who knows maybe four, with us. Sure, we can still have flip contests, but it will never again be a "date". It would be family flip contests. Which I'm sure I will cherish just as much.

It's so crazy to me. 

I mean, we've been planning our family for years. Now that it's really here and the days are nearing to the day we meet our little one, it's surreal to think how much our life is about to change. It has been just the two of us for 4 and a half years. A full 4 and a half years living together, just us. I've lived with Matt since our 2nd day dating. And now...there will be 3 of us. A new little one to get tons of my attention and tons of Matt's. Attention away from me, and attention away from Matt. Attention away from "us". That scares me just a little. I really want to make sure we still date each other. Ultimately, Matt is my best friend and will always be my #1. Without him there wouldn't be an us or a Little Bean. 

I may or may not have cried reading this post that I linked below, thinking about how much fun that day was. I had forgotten about it. Because really, it was just a normal 'samples and hot dogs at Costco because we didn't have enough money for anything else' kind of day. But we loved it. 

I really really wish we had more days like that day. Even just like 3 more before baby comes. Sadly, my hormones, tiredness and recent pain at night time don't allow for any "fully" amazing days such as that one anymore. We're guaranteed at least 1 argument if not fight a day. Example today, "Matt can you drive with me to my convention tonight so I don't have to drive home in the dark?"(I have to be careful driving because of this weird pregnancy blood thing I have)..."Sure, then I'll eat dinner when we get home."..."NO! You shouldn't eat dinner at 9:30pm! I don't want you to go!" then I cried. Seriously...what???????? 

I want more fun and silly days.

Lately everything seems so serious to me like I have to be extra perfect all the time for our baby. Sure, I have moments of silliness...but not like August 5th. I would do August 5th a million times over. 

I know that once we hold this little baby in our arms that we will never for one second regret our decision to start a family. It's just hard to see that right now when I still want my Matty to myself :) 

Time to plan some fun dates like asap!!! 

Here is the link to the August 5th day. Just because it was so awesome, I'm going to read it again. Then go cuddle with Matt and watch a Disney movie :)

http://metatdisney.blogspot.com/2012/08/today-rocked.html