Sunday, May 5, 2013

Dear Lillian Belle,

My Dear Lillian Belle,

We had quite the day today; quite the weekend actually. I want to apologize first of all for all the craziness you have been apart of. Yesterday my wallet and lots of special things were stolen. I cried a lot and had a panic attack (I haven't had one yet while you've been in my tummy). Your Pops talked me through it. Daddy wasn't with me. Pops reminded me on the phone while I was crying that you were in my tummy and you could feel everything I was feeling. I stopped as soon as I could. You kicked me the whole way through it. You wanted me to know you were there. I already don't know what I would do without you.

You are definitely your daddy's daughter. Last night we went to a baseball game (after all the craziness) and there were fireworks at the end. You were going crazy in my tummy; kicking and rolling all around. I tried to cover my tummy from the loud as much as I could but I knew there was nothing I could do. Daddy and I agreed then that you didn't like it very much.

Today was too much. I danced with you (and around 35 other kids) this morning for 3 classes. The last class we taught today, we jumped way way too much...correction, I jumped way way too just got jiggled around too much. It was a beautiful day so when we got home by Daddy and Cogsy we went for a walk (2 mile walk) to the grocery store for lunch. I had to sit down half way home because you got all tight in my tummy. I got worried. My plan was to sit down when I got home and relax with you for about an hour. Then Mommy's friend, Katie called right when we got in the door to say she was picking me up for my girls day with her and Ashley...

Then we walked the hills in Seattle and all around Pikes Place. We had gelato. We drank lots of water, but you were kicking like crazy and tight again. I sat down when I could. We went to dinner after and you were again kicking. I made a comment to Daddy when I got home that you had kicked me more today than ever before. (Started to worry)...

Tonight Daddy & I went to see Iron Man 3 and it has been do not like loud noise. Just like Daddy. Also, I was feeling extremely anxious during the movie because I get way too into it and I'm sure you felt that from me as well. So between my anxiety and Daddy's fear of loud noises...sorry, Lilly Belle.
We went to Barnes & Noble first and you began kicking me there. We have now been home for 30 minutes and you haven't stopped. You've been kicking me non-stop (literally...) for 4 hours. About 45 minutes ago, after the movie, I got worried. I teared up. Daddy didn't know because the theater was dark. I got worried that I'd hurt you. We called our midwife. I can tell she was sleeping. She didn't mind. I told her how much you've been moving and what I've done with you today. She told me I need to relax because you are over stimulated. I'm so sorry, Lilly Belle. Now we are home and Daddy rubbed my tummy for a long time and we sang you Disney songs. Now I'm sitting listening to our favorite songs. You're still kicking a little, but slowing down.

I've been rubbing my tummy and talking to you the whole time. We love you so much. I am 100% positive that this is not the last time I will call our midwife or a doctor at 11:45pm worried about you. You are our whole life already. I was crying sitting on the couch tonight just telling your daddy how much I love you and how it's already so much that I can't explain it.

Tomorrow I have big plans for us...sitting in your glider all day! I will read to you and sing you songs all day long. We both need a day to relax. I'm sorry my job is so crazy, I'm trying to do everything I can to give you the best life possible. I know I need to slow down.

I love you my Little Bean. We're going to go to sleep now and Daddy said he'll hold us :) I can't wait until you're in our arms and we can all really cuddle together. We're going to have the best time together. Daddy loves us so much and you are going to think the world of him.

I love you to the moon and back a thousand and one times!

Love always,

P.S. You are still kicking me.

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