Friday, March 29, 2013

Little Bean Update!

It was a nerve wrecking day waiting for 1:30pm to roll around so we could leave for our appointment. 
We arrived around 1:45pm and it felt like forever for the door to open and hear my name called to the back. My blood pressure was a bit high today and it was definitely due to my nerves. I just wanted to know that our Little Bean is healthy. I did not care what we found out the gender to be, just wanted a healthy baby. 

And...that is what we have.
A perfectly healthy baby!

I will write more after this weekend and announce the gender after all of our family members have been told. My parents are the only ones to know right now. They hid in the closet from my siblings so we could tell them on speakerphone after our appointment. Tomorrow we are having Matt's family and Chris, Katie & Avery over for an Easter Celebration and we will announce to them!! On Sunday when all of my family is together at my Grandma's in WI, Matt and I will call them and announce on speakerphone to all of them as well. Then on Monday, I need to tell all of my team kids & parents with cupcakes as I promised...and finally on Monday night....I will announce on Facebook & my blog. Lots of amazing pictures, too! I cannot stop staring at them. Every time Little Bean kicks me now it feels even more real knowing who is in there. I am so in love. 

Healthy perfect little baby. 
Prayers answered.
Huge sigh of relief. 

I am the happiest mama in the whole world right now!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

20 Weeks! ( Half Way There & Poppin' )

(Matt didn't like this picture because my eyes are squinting. I think I look extra happy)
Holy-Moly Belly! Wa-BAM. 

How Far Along?  20 Weeks!!! Halfway baby! I seriously cannot believe how fast that went. Makes me sort of sad, but also excited knowing I get to meet this precious little baby in just 20 more weeks-ish!

How Big is Baby?  As big as a banana :) 

Total Weight Gain:  At my appointment on Tuesday, I weighed 142.5 (started at 120.5). The hospital started me out higher than that so I'm not sure. Our scales battery's are dead and all I know is I'm glad. 

Maternity Clothes? Half and Half with shirts, always with pants.

Stretch Marks? Not yet. Still using lots of my Palmer's Stretch Mark Cream & Cocoa Butter. Bought a cocoa butter bath bar and had to throw it away because I came out of the shower with a rash all over my body. Yikes. 

Sleep: Slept well every night except for Monday night but I know that was because I was anxious for our appointment on Tuesday morning.  

Best Moment this Week: Hearing Little Bean's heartbeat. Still in the 140's. Best sound in the world, so far. I've also enjoyed feeling all LB's kicks. I also had a fun moment on Tuesday night when I arrived at the Community Center to teach. I have never made an official announcement to all the staff there that I'm pregnant. Katie knows and my close co-workers know because we obviously have talked about it and also created plans, but the front desk staff hasn't had an "announcement" from me. Well on Tuesday night when I came in, two of the women said, "Ok! We're just going to go out there and say look so cute! We can finally say for sure we think you're pregnant!" Hehe I giggled and thanked them and then told them I was almost 20 weeks. They said they were glad they knew for sure now :) Oops...I just assumed word spread.  

Miss Anything: Sometimes I miss things that haven't even happened yet. I've been telling Matt often that, "I miss him". (We're together 24/7). We're going to lose a lot of alone time together once Little Bean's here and I already pre-miss that. Does that even make sense?? Like will cuddling on the couch and watching random cooking shows at night exist anymore? He's close to getting a job and that makes me so happy but also selfishly makes me want to cry because I love being with him all day. 

Movement: Lots of kicks! I love it so much!!  

Food Cravings: Still loving sour. Mango A Go-Go smoothies from Jamba Juice are my new go to thing. I also love Grapefruit Izze's. Tuna is still one of my favorite things in the world, too. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.

Gender:  We got our appointment moved to tomorrow! Oh my goodness! I'm going to get a pedicure so that 2:00pm will come calmly. Holy man, 24 hours from this exact moment and I will be sitting up on that bed. Oh man, I'm freaking out. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. 

Symptoms: Round Ligament Pain. Ouchy. Lori told me to get a band to wear to keep my belly up and tight while I dance. 

Looking Forward to: Finding out the gender tomorrow and telling our family and friends this weekend!! I can't wait to confidently talk to Little Bean using he/she's name! Eep!!

**Side Note: Excited this week to find out that my insurance covers my breast pump 100%. It was something I was worried about because it's so expensive. Such a relief when I got to take that off of our registry :)

I sure love life right now. I'm on such a high :) 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

20 Week Appointment

I am 19 weeks and 5 days today. We met with our midwife for our 20-week appointment this morning. Little Bean is still doing well. We did not have an ultrasound because our anatomy scan is now moved to Friday (I called and had it switched so we can tell our families for Easter). 

LB's heartbeat was still between 140 & 150. Lori was having a hard time getting the baby to stay still for long enough to get the heart rate for sure. Bean was moving around the whole time and I could feel it so again I had to try to keep from laughing. We got measured for the first time and measured 19 cm which means baby is measuring the size it should be at 19 weeks. So normal to small size right now. A lot could change in the next 20 weeks though. It has been confirmed that I will not be having a 10 lb. baby which was one of my back of the mind fears because Matt was such a big baby. Probably closer to what I was when I was born, 6 lbs 2 oz. :) 

We got a lot of questions answered which felt good because I had been writing them all down since our last appointment a month ago. My round ligament pain is normal for someone as active as I am and I just have to keep doing my best to not do too much. When it starts to hurt, I need to stop. I've been getting better about it but it's hard when most of the kids I teach are under the age of 5. Found out that I can ride a bike when we go to Sunriver in May, just have to be careful to not fall so getting a tricycle would be best. Matt's going to try to reserve one for me. I got the phone number to call at night if I am in pain again. Last time I didn't call because I didn't know the number. I feel better knowing I can call anytime and Lori will get paged and answer me if I really need it. Found out specifics of what will happen with Lori once I'm in labor. I was curious about how much of it she would be with me for. 

So...if I go into labor at night or on a weekend, she will be with me from the time I call the hospital to say we're coming in. So, when I'm around 2-3 cm. If I go into labor during the morning or day while she's on call doing appointments, she will continue doing appointments until I am 5 cm. Once I am 5 cm, no matter what, she will be with me the rest of the time and cancel the rest of her appointments for the day if she has any. So that was reassuring because I had started to look up whether or not I would get a doula as well. Definitely not going to need one. Lori will be such an amazing help throughout my labor and delivery that I won't need a doula. That saves $1,000.00 :) 

She had me schedule my 24 week appointment with the other midwife that is also on call at our hospital. The one that I wasn't so happy with during the phone call a while back when I was like 10 weeks. She just wants me to meet her and see in real life my feelings for her. So now I do not have anymore appointments with Lori until I'm 28 weeks and in my 3rd Trimester. Whoa! She did tell me that if I feel better asking her questions instead of the other midwife, that I can call and she will answer all of my questions over the phone before my appointment so it's quicker :) I love her. 

After our appointment we had breakfast (my 2nd breakfast for the day) at 12th Ave. Cafe. We had never been and it was so yummy! 

Also, saw the scale in the 140's for the first time in my life. 142.5 to be exact. Kinda freaked me out but then I was happy when Lori said she was glad I am still gaining weight at a good pace. According to my scale that means I've gained 22.5 lbs already. According to the hospitals scale, I've only gained like 14-15 lbs. Either way, it's so crazy how fast your body changes. (May have something to do with the fact that I did mention above that I had 2 breakfasts today, lol). 

Got an invitation today for my dance team baby shower and it is so stinkin' cute! We're so blessed to have such amazing dance families :) I'm so excited because all the moms and my team kids are invited. It will be fun to have all my girls there. They are all very excited to find out what we're having. Last night they were all counting down how many days until they find out on Monday :) 

Good day!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Crafty Mama

I was cleaning our apt today and found a bin full of ribbon and bows I made last year. Most of them were not yet finished so I got in a crazy crafty woman mood and finished them all and opened my Etsy back up. Really I'm going to sell them at the studio and if they sell on Etsy, awesome. And if they don't sell...well then, my nieces have like 25 new bows ; ) I'm going to sell them at our year end recital, too! Along with some tutus. 

Here are some that I made tonight.

You can find all the other ones in my Etsy Shop, 'Love, Chelsea Kay'. Matt's trying to help me figure out our photo stream right now though first. I just edited all the photos I took today of the bows and now it didn't update. Lame. He'll figure it out for me though :) I can't wait to bring them all in to the studio tomorrow! 

They all have an attached lined alligator clip in coordinating ribbon colors on the back and come with a crochet headband you can attach them to if you choose. 

I love getting crafty!

This was a good weekend. Cribs all put together! And today we bought all the frames for the Peter Pan illustrations to go above the crib. Post on that later. :)

Now, I'm working (what's new) but then I can sleep in tomorrow. 
Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Dear Little Bean (3-22-13)

Dear Little Bean,

I felt a strong urge to write to you just now because you have literally been on my mind all day long. Hard to not think about you when you've been kicking me all day. (Which I love). A new cloth diaper came in the mail for you today and it makes me feel like a good mommy knowing that your bottom will always be have a soft diaper on. Daddy and I have been watching basketball all day. It's March Madness time. As soon as you can talk we'll let you pick your own brackets. You've probably heard lots of excitement happening today. I've also been working on your rug the whole day. Daddy said as soon as the rug is done he will put your crib together. I have a sudden need for your crib to be assembled so I've been working like crazy getting that rug done. I will take your picture lying on your rug each month to see how much you grow.

I want you to know how much your daddy and I talk about you...and to you. We already love you. We have loved you since you were just a thought in our minds. Now you're in my tummy and I'm so anxious to just be able to hold you. I have wanted to be your mommy my whole life. I promise to always do my best at this all-important job of being your mother. Know in advance that I'm going to mess up sometimes and I know you're not always going to be happy with me. I may change your diaper too late and you may get a rash. I may become distracted watching you and you could get a bump. You may be really mad at me one day when you learn about me and Daddy's dating rules.
Just know one matter what, I always love you. You'll mess up, too. There will be many time outs in our future and maybe some groundings. But just remember, we always love you. That is something that will never change.

This letter took a turn for the serious, when what I really wanted to tell you in the first place is that Daddy is the best cook ever. You'll find that out soon enough. We're lucky, you and I. Daddy is pretty much the coolest guy around. You're really going to love him.

We love you so much, Little Bean. Only about a week now until we find out if you are a girl or if you are a boy. We have been told an educated guess by our midwife, Lori, but we still want to know for sure. I talk to you all day long as if you are what she guessed so don't be mad if she was wrong, I'll love you just as much either way.

Ok, Daddy and I are going to take Cogsy for a walk.

I love you, Little Bean!

I've been singing this to you everyday and I always will...
"Hold your own, know your name and go your own way and everything will be fine." 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

19 Weeks

How Far Along?  19 Weeks. Almost halfway! 

How Big is Baby?  Mango. Which is awesome because I've been drinking Jamba Juice Mango A Go Go's almost everyday. I am actually drinking one right now!

Total Weight Gain:  Don't know, don't want to know. I feel healthy.

Maternity Clothes? Everyday pants and about half and half shirts. My baby tees are all too tight on me now though. I wore a lot of hoodies this week. Last night my bump showed through my hoodie and through my jacket.

Stretch Marks? None. I use a cocoa butter bar after exfoliating in the shower every morning and use cocoa butter oil at night. 

Sleep: Great every night except for Tuesday night. I was up from 1-3am worrying about who is going to watch our baby and me having to work in the Fall. I'm still working on getting over the fact that I don't get to be a full-time Stay at Home Mom. The bigger my belly gets, the more attached I get. It's going to be hard for me to leave our Little Bean. 

Best Moment this Week: Matt feeling Little Bean move last night! We were sitting on the couch. It was like 7:00pm and I was just leaning back because I could feel LB kicking. I said, "I just wish that you could feel it!" Then in that exact moment - boom! I felt the kick hard as ever on my hand--the first time I'd felt a kick from outside. Like LB was saying, "Oh, that's all you want, okay I can do that." Then Matt put his hand on my belly super fast and LB did it again twice, except those times Matt felt it! He was so happy. I can't wait to feel that again. We went out and had ice cream to celebrate (and also because I wanted Cold Stone all day and now I had a reason, kind of). When we got in the car I felt more kicks than ever before. Usually I feel just a little flick-flick at a time, but this was like 10 in a row, a dance party in my tummy, lol. So Matt and I decided we should probably dance in the car (people stared, it was okay). It was so much fun. 

Miss Anything: Sometimes I wish I could have a glass of wine or eat a whole thing of goat cheese. Not enough to say I "miss" it though. 

Movement: Lots of little flicks and now kicks I can feel inside my tummy. It's my new favorite thing! 

Food Cravings: Sweet & Sour. I downed two glasses of Strawberry Lemonade at dinner on Sunday.

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Gender:  We will be revealing on April Fool's Day when we find out!

Symptoms: Round Ligament Pain still. Dancing is awful. Lesson planning has gotten to be quite the task. Trying to find ways to dance around still with the kids but without me ever having to actually move. Tricky tricky...

Looking Forward to: Our two appointments coming up. 5 days until our 20-week check up. I'm looking forward to hearing Little Bean's heart again. Our Anatomy Scan is then on April 1st.

**Side Note: Matt and I have been watching basketball all day long. I'm beating him so far, I love making brackets :) I just like watching the last like 10 min. of each game though. Fun to do together.**

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A Plan to Stay With Our Baby.

**This is really just for me to read when I get down about having to work still when the baby comes. The plan was always to just teach at the studio once the baby came so that the baby could just come with me, but the reality is that I still need to teach many hours at the Community Center and preschools. It's been a hard reality for me but this makes me feel a lot better. If you make it to the end of this post...I'm sorry for the boredom of it, it really is just to make myself feel better.** :)

So, I know it is early, but I am a planner.
When I can't see what's coming or if plans change, I kind of freak out.
I know, I know...we change our plans a lot. (That's always in my control).
It's when it's out of my control that it freaks me out. 

After being up from 1-3am last night thinking about how badly I wish I could stay home with our baby more, I have a plan. There is absolutely no way possible that I can be a full-time SAHM and that be my only job. Owning my own business...that's just not in the cards for me. But...because I own my business, I can make my schedule more appealing and for Fall 2013, I think I have done just that.

I talked with my sister-in-law on the phone for a while yesterday and we talked about my plans for child care. (Which are still terrifying to me because nothing is set in stone). After we got off the phone, I realized that my schedule I had set was just absolutely ridiculous and totally 100% unfair to our baby. Not by anything she said, but by hearing myself say it out loud for the first time. 
Matt and I plan on being pretty laid back parents, but dragging our baby around from house to house, person to person...waking he/she up from naps...keeping them up from naps so they fall asleep at the person's house instead...etc. Just not fair. 
*Side Note: Our goal for our children is that they have have the same nap times every day but that they are able to fall asleep anywhere. Crib, stroller at Disneyland...anywhere. Hopefully just always around the same time.
With that being said, my schedule that I had planned for myself teaching was just not going to work.

SO...after being up all night and having a bit of a cry fest to Matt this afternoon, we sat down together...figured out how much we can afford to pay for other teachers to teach classes instead of me and figured out when I'd teach and who we would hope could watch our baby. 

Here is the plan. I'm writing this out here so it stays because it is really the best option and it makes me feel so much better. Huge sigh of relief. 
*For the sake of the example below, let's pretend our Little Bean wakes up at 6am (I hope so...more time together!)*

Mondays (the only sad day for me...Matt's most excited about this day):
6:00-9:15am Home with baby
10:00-11:45am Teach - baby to a friend/dance mom's house
12:00-3:30pm Home with baby
At 3:30pm I will bring the baby with me to the studio and my dance kids/moms will watch the baby while I teach. We are going to bring a bouncer, bottles, diapers, stroller, etc. to the studio so they have resources for him/her.
Matt will pick Little Bean up on his way home from work (hopefully he'll be working by then) and take him/her home for dinner, bath, story, bedtime just the two of them. Matt is so so excited about this. He asked me tonight if the first two weeks I will really help him learn how to give him/her a bath so he can do that every night. I love him so freakin' much. He's going to be the best dad of all time.
Bedtime 7:30pm
I'll get home around 8:15pm and be excited for baby to wake up to be fed around 11pm :) 
Monday's will be Daddy-Baby Night!

6:00am-2:30pm Home with Little Bean
2:30pm until Matt get's home we will need help while I have to teach. 
Home at 7pm, just in time to help with bedtime and nurse Little Bean. 

6:00am-2:30pm Home with Little Bean
2:30pm Bean and I will head to the studio. He/She will stay with me until Matt picks him/her up from the studio on the way home from work.
I'll get home around 6pm to spend family time together :)

6:00am-3:30pm Home with Little Bean
3:30pm Teach at Comm. Center...who will help is TBD. We may have to hire a college kid to come in on Tuesdays and Thursdays, hopefully not though :) Matt's going to try to see if when he gets a job if he can go in early and work from home in the afternoon 1 or 2 days/week.
I'll get home at 7pm for family time before bedtime.

Home all day long!!!
Except Saturday mornings when Matt will have more baby time while I teach for an hour and a half :)

I feel much better about this seeing how much more time I'll get to spend with our baby, while still teaching 18 hours/week. Perfect :) 

Saturday, March 16, 2013

All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance, Dance.

All I want to do is dance, all I should do is stop.
We have our 20 week appointment in 9 days and I already know what  my midwife is going to tell me...dancing is no longer something I'll be allowed to do. She already told me I can do it "as long as I'm not cramping or hurting." Well...that time has come.

Thursday I was pumped for dance with my team kids. 
I went to the studio around 2:30pm to choreograph for their practices that night from 5-7:30pm. I did quite a bit of dancing before their practices started and then taught them all and went all out. I had a blast with them. It felt so so good to dance and to just rock it out. (Thursday's are hip strength and absolute favorite). So I just went for it.

Then, I got home and shortly after ended up on the couch in tears unable to walk or stand due to pain and in fear that I had hurt our baby. I had the most extreme pain on my left side of my bump. After lots of reading, Matt and I decided it was Round Ligament Pain and that if it persisted to Friday without slowing that we would call first thing in the morning. (I had also taught an intense 2-3 class at 10am). It was a long, hard night before going to bed. 
I woke up in the morning to feeling like myself again so we did not call but made a decision together that I would not dance anymore. (At least not all out like that). My heart was broken. 

I knew this day would come; just did not expect it to happen so soon.
I now have 22 weeks of no "full-on" dancing. That will be the longest streak of my whole life. I am going to find a new outlet for my stress...and soon. When I'm upset or stressed out, I just dance or stretch. Either at the studio or at home. 

Today, just two days after the incident...I already broke the rule.

I had to.

No really, I had to.

tWitch taught a teachers class today at my kids' convention. I watched him teach my Juniors at 9am and then my Mini's at 10am. All the while I was bouncing in my chair and with the Juniors, I was marking the dance in the back of the room. tWitch is my dance hero. He's my favorite of all time. I promised Matt that when I got there today that I would not dance, no matter what.

I couldn't do it. 
Last minute I made the decision that I would go in and learn from him. I quick had one of my kids give me her hip hop pants (which felt awesome still fitting into them). It went like this... "Hurry Samantha!!! Give me your pants I'm going to go dance!!"(*she had another pair on just so everyone knows). The kids response, "Are you sure???" "Yes! Hurry so I don't go in there late and back out." I told the kids I'd be right back because I'd never last, and I ran in.

There were just 4 other teachers in the room and I got super nervous. I haven't taken a hip hop class in a very long time.  To break the awkwardness I just went for it and said, "Ok so I'm pregnant and haven't danced in forever, please no one watch or judge me." Everyone laughed and then the ice was broken and all was good :) I really wasn't sure if I'd be able to pick it up as quickly as they were.
The other teachers were all super nice and we all talked about dance and my bump.
Then tWitch came in and we got to groovin'. 

I learned the dance and danced with all my heart right along side tWitch for about 30 minutes. Some of the coolest dance minutes of my whole life. I felt like me again. Just me, in a room full of awesome dancers, just jammin'. 
Then....I got super winded and realized I needed to listen to my body and said, "Ok...I think the baby is done guys." Then tWitch said, "Yeah, you two should go sit down!" :) (hehe, he said you two). I then told him that I am not supposed to be dancing but had to dance with him today because I really look up to him and that I so much appreciated him teaching me today. He told me that he was really honored to teach us. I for the life of me cannot think of how he worded that, but it was again so cool :) I stayed and watched the end of the class. At the end I asked if it would be okay if we got a picture together for the baby's scrapbook...after all, it was the Baby's First Hip Hop Class! (Amazing!) He told me congratulations and that he was glad to be able to teach me today and we took a picture. 

{to answer Matt's question that you may have too, he's all hunched over because he said he felt bad touching me because he was so sweaty. I still think it's like the coolest picture ever} : ) Notice that I had a dress on, now rolled up because I turned it into a "shirt" so I could dance. I had Samantha's harem pants over my leggings.

Matt wasn't too happy that I danced because he didn't want me in pain tonight (and that I'm obsessed with tWitch lol--I kid), but I showed him the routine when I got home and he approved when he saw it was more of a "jam" than an intense hip hop dance. 

I really do know that it was my last time I'll dance like that until after Little Bean is born. It was a great way to end it. Not end it...but start this dancing hiatus. I will never forget that. Me and the Bean dancing with tWitch. 

Best part of it all....I'm pretty sure I felt Little Bean kick for the first time today. 
Dancer? Music lover at least...
This morning while I was in the warm up with the kids I was standing right next to the speaker and the bass was so loud that I could feel the vibrations. Shortly after (about 5 minutes) I sat down to watch my kids start ballet. I was leaning back and relaxed and the music came on...I felt a flick-flick on the inside of my tummy. Right under my belly button. I thought it was just a fluke so did not get too excited about it. Now I've felt it 2 more times today. I think that it is probably what I'm feeling. I don't know what else it could be :) 

My kids rocked it out today and I was so proud of them! I'll write more about the convention tomorrow night with pictures of all of that fun too!!
Good weekend!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Just the Two of Us

I've been thinking a lot today that I'm really glad that I blog. I do it so that one day I can look back at silly randomness we do or at days that really stunk to realize there are always more good than bad. I was just scrolling through past posts and came across this one from August 5th titled "Today Rocked". I thought, "hmmm...what did we do on August 5th?" Summer camp?? 


We played tennis and went swimming at our apt pool together.
Like swimming like little kids. Like flip contests and Matt pulling me around by my legs type swimming, lol. 

Then I realized how much I cherish the memory of that day. 
Matt and I won't have anymore days where the two of us just go play tennis and then wander down to the pool together and have contests doing flips. There will forever always be a little one or two..or three...or who knows maybe four, with us. Sure, we can still have flip contests, but it will never again be a "date". It would be family flip contests. Which I'm sure I will cherish just as much.

It's so crazy to me. 

I mean, we've been planning our family for years. Now that it's really here and the days are nearing to the day we meet our little one, it's surreal to think how much our life is about to change. It has been just the two of us for 4 and a half years. A full 4 and a half years living together, just us. I've lived with Matt since our 2nd day dating. And now...there will be 3 of us. A new little one to get tons of my attention and tons of Matt's. Attention away from me, and attention away from Matt. Attention away from "us". That scares me just a little. I really want to make sure we still date each other. Ultimately, Matt is my best friend and will always be my #1. Without him there wouldn't be an us or a Little Bean. 

I may or may not have cried reading this post that I linked below, thinking about how much fun that day was. I had forgotten about it. Because really, it was just a normal 'samples and hot dogs at Costco because we didn't have enough money for anything else' kind of day. But we loved it. 

I really really wish we had more days like that day. Even just like 3 more before baby comes. Sadly, my hormones, tiredness and recent pain at night time don't allow for any "fully" amazing days such as that one anymore. We're guaranteed at least 1 argument if not fight a day. Example today, "Matt can you drive with me to my convention tonight so I don't have to drive home in the dark?"(I have to be careful driving because of this weird pregnancy blood thing I have)..."Sure, then I'll eat dinner when we get home."..."NO! You shouldn't eat dinner at 9:30pm! I don't want you to go!" then I cried. Seriously...what???????? 

I want more fun and silly days.
Lately everything seems so serious to me like I have to be extra perfect all the time for our baby. Sure, I have moments of silliness...but not like August 5th. I would do August 5th a million times over. 

I know that once we hold this little baby in our arms that we will never for one second regret our decision to start a family. It's just hard to see that right now when I still want my Matty to myself :) 
Time to plan some fun dates like asap!!! 

Here is the link to the August 5th day. Just because it was so awesome, I'm going to read it again. Then go cuddle with Matt and watch a Disney movie :)

Thursday, March 14, 2013

18 Weeks


How Far Along?  18 weeks!

How Big is Baby?  Our little sweet potato

Total Weight Gain:  ?? don't know

Maternity Clothes?  Everyday. Dance pants are fitting really tight now. Pretty uncomfortable. I can still sneak into my regular shirts.

Stretch Marks? Nope :) I'm feeling too lucky because I probably put lotion on like 1 or 2 x's/week. I need to get better about now as my tummy is now poppin'

Sleep: So much better. I sleep through the night almost always now. Just wake up once to pee :)

Best Moment this Week: My new favorite thing to do is to lounge on the couch or in the nursery at night and sing to our sweet baby. I have a playlist of songs on my phone that I have always dreamt of signing to our baby and it's fun that it's real now. A few are gender specific so I won't share, but a few of my other favorites to sing to her/him are "Edelweiss", "So Long, Farewell" (this will be our get ready for bedtime song to sing with Daddy each night), "Part of Your World" (my favorite Disney song), "Go the Distance" (Matt's favorite Disney song), and "Feed the Birds" from Mary Poppins. I'll write more about this later because this time at night has turned into something I really cherish. I know he/she can hear me so it's really a bonding time for us. We have one song that Matt and I sing to Bean together almost every night, but I can't share that one quite yet ; ) It's the same song we are going to sing to Little Bean the second we get to hold her/him. I cannot wait for that moment. Baby will be like, "Hey! I know you guys!" :)

Miss Anything: Nada.

Movement: Sadly, no not really. I have felt the bubbles again this week but just for a moment. Last night Matt and I thought we could feel Bean moving on the outside (like a rolling) but I don't know because I couldn't feel anything from inside. I'm beginning to think this baby is calm like Matt (thank goodness!)...we'll see.

Food Cravings: sweets are always good.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Matt had Axe on the other day and it gave me the worst headache. I was so mad at him (I threw it away). Problem solved :) 

Gender: not announcing quite yet...but the more and more time goes by, I believe it more and more. 

Symptoms: Dancing has been difficult. After each class my tummy is in pain. Almost cramp-like pain. I've been doing my best to "take it easy" as much as is possible being a dance teacher.

Looking Forward to: Our 20 week appt. is on the 26th and our anatomy scan is on April 1st. Non pregnancy related, I'm looking forward to convention this weekend as my all-time favorite dancer, Twitch, is teaching. I'm going to just follow him around to all the classes all weekend ; ) 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Parenting Practice:: Lesson #1-Praise

Matt and I have a lot of ideas and opinions about how we want to parent and discipline our children. These are ideas that we have been stewing on for about 4 years now (since I started nannying and learning really). Now that we really are about to become parents and have been reading a lot of articles and books; really doing our research, we have been able to both apply our new parenting techniques in our regular life. Matt spends Tuesdays with Maclin and I love when he comes home and he tells me how we was able to apply certain techniques to his time with Mac. In my job, teaching kids every single day, I have been getting some great practice in as well. 

**I am in no way a child expert (at least according to my lack of degree) but for being a first time mom-to-be, I have spent more time with children of all ages than most other first-time-moms. As I begin to learn and practice these parenting techniques, I will write about them in hopes that they will be helpful to other moms who read my blog.**

One of the things that is really important to us (Matt & I) is that our children know we are proud of them, but without over praising them. I was over praised my whole childhood, which was fabulous (as a kid). As an adult, in day to day life, not receiving constant praise was difficult for me. I had constant feelings of not being good enough. It has been a huge struggle for me in my adult life. One that has taken a lot of time to cope with and re-learn for me. Big point is that it is super important to us that we do this "right". (If that is even such a thing). Really, we want to be conscious of how and when we are giving our children praise to make sure as adults they have a healthy base to sit on. We want them to grow up having an ability to self praise; to be able to know within themselves when they are doing a good job and when they need to work a little harder.

Here is an example of the problem I (and many I hear everyday listening to other parents) find ourselves in often:

During each of my dance classes, my little ones do leaps and jumps down a line over little rubber stars that I have. Each child goes one at a time doing their leaps or jumps. In the past, I would say, "Good job, _____!" for each child who would go. I would also find myself saying "Great leaps!" 

Now really...what does that mean? Good job for what? For trying? For jumping high? For their legs being straight? 


Most of the time, their legs are not straight and their jumps are not high, yet I would still say, "Great leaps!"
It's kind of a lie. A healthy lie? But still, a bit of a lie. I had a feeling within myself to make sure the kids knew I was proud of them. I had been going about it the wrong way. 

So instead, I have put into practice watching each child intently and finding what they did well while it was their turn and then commenting on that.
Ex. "Olivia, your legs were very straight, you did that well!"..."Harley, you were trying so hard when you did your leaps, it's good to try hard!" (Still said in my same excited tone I use with them). Today I found my kids taking an extra look at me when I told them these things. They felt a feeling of accomplishment still, probably even more. I did not tell Harley her leaps were good, I instead commented on her effort (which in my opinion is ubber important). 

I also made sure to comment on other things throughout my classes such as creativity. 
Today in the same said preschool class, we did an activity where I have the children squat down low and then on the count of 3, we make our bodies into a letter of the alphabet.
I was sure to comment on the children's use of creativity.
Ex. "Sanika, the way you decided to sit on the ground to make an 'L' instead of standing up was very creative." Big smiles happen when they hear that I noticed things that they had done. Most of the time, I commented on things that they themselves did not realize they had done, which in turn made them even more proud of themselves.

These are techniques that are not easy to apply. It is going to take a lot of time and concentration for me to remind myself to focus on the details instead of a "good job" big picture. With time, it will become natural for me. Hopefully by the time our children are old enough to understand us (which we both strongly believe is from day 1 and quite honestly, we talk to Bean as if he/she is already able to hear us). 

I am really enjoying learning and am looking forward to my next lesson (while still working hard on this one of course).
If you are interested in learning along with me, one of the books I am currently reading is called "Superbaby". I am taking it with a grain of salt as a lot of her techniques I do not agree with (especially when it comes to we will be a little more strict) but, overall it is a great book. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Dear Little Bean (3-10-13)

Dear Little Bean, 

Tonight, your daddy read you a book (Mike Mulligan) and I sang to you while I made a playlist dedicated just to you. We have heard a few different things, but some of our books/apps say that you can hear us already and we are doing our best to make sure what you're hearing is all healthy and good. We went to your cousin's birthday party today and you are going to love playing with them when you're bigger. Clare already has plans to feed you 'smushed bananas' because, well...according to Clare, that's what you'll like. 

Daddy cleaned out your playroom tonight. He even scrubbed the floor. He means business in there and his plans of creating a magical Disneyland playroom for you are pretty fun. He is very excited to meet you and told you tonight that he can't wait to hold you in his arms. (He said it to my tummy...maybe you heard). You definitely felt his love, that I know because I felt it so you did too. 

While Daddy cleaned out your playroom, I organized your clothes (again) because you already have a ton. I think it's time we get your dresser. The piles on the table we have set up in there for now are growing quite large and we're already out of baby hangers. We are not 100% of your gender yet, so if we're wrong...we'll have some serious returning to do (tags are all still on). I have a strong feeling Lori is right though. (Daddy's pumped about you, just so you know). 

He just researched some serious baby monitors and thinks he has finally found one that's good enough to protect you. He asked that this be his project and he's putting lots of time into making sure you're safe. He's going to spend his whole life keeping you safe, as am I. Tonight when I was singing to you, I saw Daddy sneak a picture in. Maybe we'll show you when you're older. I could tell by how he was looking at me how much he loves me and how excited he is that you are in my tummy! He smiles to himself a lot more now and it's all because of you. 

We have so many fun things we want to teach you, Bean. It has been decided that we will have Disney music dance parties in our living room and that as soon as you're ready for your big kid bed one day, your little sleep buddy will definitely be Cogsy Wogsy. You're going to be best buds. We know where you will go to preschool and are starting a new savings account for that tomorrow. We have lots of hopes for you and they all have to do with what you'll stand for and not with what you do. We hope you always say your please's and thank you's and that you are always grateful for what others do for you. We hope you are strong enough to say no, but that you know when you need to be respectful to your elders. We hope you are happy and that you love life. 

I could probably sit here and write this letter to you all night, but I'm going to stop there for now. Daddy and I are going to bed. 

We love you to the moon and back (Daddy says that's not enough so times that by infinity).


Saturday, March 9, 2013

Spotlight Competition 2013

Our team kids completed their 2nd and last competition for the season. We're in the home stretch now and boy have they grown! Their dances from last month to this month had such an improvement and it was really neat to see. I am of course exhausted with my 17 week pregnant belly, but it was lots of fun and I'm very proud.

The girls took home a lot of awards including "Showmanship Award" for the whole competition. I was super proud of that one because I always won that award when I was little :) Pretty cool. 

*Embarrassing moment of the day: During awards I'm just standing in the back with Matt and a few parents listening to all the awards getting called off and hear, "Can we have the Director of Emerald City Dance come up on the stage?"....weird silence (maybe just in my head) as everyone watches me go up on stage all flustered (maybe some clapping was happening). My team kids are sitting up on stage waving away at me, lol. "So, please tell everyone your full name and what studio you're from.".....(shaking voice...Matt said I sounded great...yeah right) "Chelsea Lanese from Emerald City Dance." Everyone claps and cheers, I get some plaque (having no idea what for). Walk off stage feeling super weird. See one of my moms on the stairs, go to her. She hugs me and says "Great job!" I'm still thinking 'for what?' Then go up to Matt and one of our instructors, Alex, tells me laughing..."If we competed tomorrow too, all the directors go on stage together at the end, but since you guys are done today they're giving it to you now." HA! So embarrassing... Matt said he was bummed I wasn't showing off my bump more (apparently I covered it with my sweater while I was up there...probably a comfort thing) and jokingly said he was going to scream out, "That's my baby mama!" Haha...silly Matt. 

{All done competing and hungry for breakfast at 8:45am this morning}
{about half of us had breakfast at iHop}

 {Some of my little cuties waiting patiently backstage yesterday for solos, duets & trios}

It was a fun weekend of competition. Stressful at times. Some drama (of course). But overall, it went really well :) Now it's only 1:40pm and it's super sunny...time to get out of the house and enjoy the sunshine!!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

17 Weeks!

Time is flyin'...

How Far Along? 17 Weeks. 

How Big is Baby?  As big as a yellow onion. 

Total Weight Gain: Stopped weighing myself. 

Maternity Clothes? I can still squeeze into most of my pre-pregnancy shirts, I'm in all maternity pants now though.

Stretch Marks? Found one on my hip. I think it may have been from before but it freaked me out.

Sleep: Pregnancy pillow is here now so that should help things a lot!

Best Moment this Week: Our crib & pregnancy pillow came in the mail. I also got a new parenting book that we're loving, it's called "Superbaby." It's not about creating a "Super" baby, just about parenting to you and your child's full potential and gaining trust & boundaries with one another. I love it and it's helped me a lot with my parenting worries. We've only just cracked it opened and have already learned so much.

Miss Anything: Nothing really.

Movement: Sadly, no bubbles this week. I felt so many last week and now nothin'. Pretty soon I'll feel those kicks!

Food Cravings: Purple laffy taffy.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Nope.

Gender: We'll know for sure in just 25 days! Starting to wonder now if our midwife was wrong because I keep hearing of so many stories of people who thought they're baby was one gender and came out I heard at least 4 or 5 this week. So we'll be more confident in 25 days :) 

Symptoms:  Insomnia & round ligament pain are really it right now.

Looking Forward to: Knowing for sure of our baby's gender. We already feel so close to our baby and I know that once we know for sure who is growing in my tummy that we're going to fall in love even more! We are set on both of our names now (again) so it will just be fun to know who they are. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Lovin' on a Wednesday

Ok everyone. Let me start by saying this. 
Having not checked my Facebook/Pinterest now in a full 2-days is so liberating.
I feel free. Facebook has so much complaining that I never realized until it was gone. My life already feels more positive.

Anyways, this morning, I want to write about everything I'm loving lately (keep the positive vibe going strong.)

#1. I love that it's Wednesday because my two hard days of teaching are now a full week away again. Wednesdays I just teach one easy-peasy 45 minute class to a group of 4-6 year olds that I've had since they were 2 & 3. Love them. I get excited for Wednesdays. They are currently working on splits, and getting ready to turn "like the big girls"...!

#2. Sadly, probably what I'm loving most right now in this exact pregnancy pillow arrived and...I slept from 10:30pm - 7:20am! Yahoo! Matt also slept well and I credit this to him also liking the pillow. I woke up just once for a second at 2:30am and he was using it too, lol. It's crazy huge and is like sleeping snuggled up to a cloud, no joke. Cogsy tried to claim it yesterday and I put a stop on that one real quick. This is my life saver right now. It also kept me on my side like I'm supposed to be! (Side Note* I did teach 6 dance classes yesterday...that may have had something to do with my great sleep. We'll see how tonight goes.)

#3. Our crib arrived yesterday :) We haven't put it together yet and won't be until I've finished making baby's rug, but it's crazy to see it it all unpacked leaning agains the wall waiting to be built. Exciting stuff. 

#4. Purple Laffy Taffy, bagels with cream cheese & the most amazing 5 Guys bacon cheeseburger I had for dinner last night. Could have ate 7. Right now at 8am, my mouth may or may not be watering wanting one for breakfast, lol. 

#5. The weather. I can feel spring trying to peek out and I'm loving it! A lot of my maternity clothes that were given to me are capris, skirts, shorts or jeans that fit but are just an inch or two short and need to be rolled up ready for summer. Getting dressed in the morning will be easier when it's about 5 degrees warmer :) 

#6. Matt spent the day over in Seattle with Maclin yesterday. Just the two of them. Matt took him to the zoo, Starbucks for some treats and then to Fred Meyer so Mac could show Matt what he wants for his birthday that's coming up. He's going to be 5?! I started watching him when he was just 11 months old. 4 years really went fast. I just love that we're spending time with them again. I have not seen Charlie in a long time (now goes by Lotte) and Matt saw her yesterday (she's 7 now) and she has requested that her and I have a "playdate". I cannot wait! 
Matt sent me this picture (while I was in the middle of teaching 1 of my 6 classes yesterday and I just about died from jealousy) :) I talked to Mac on the phone while they were out and he said, "Chelsea! I'm have really fun with Matt!" .... I love it. 

And I'll end you with this because if I had a Facebook, I would have made it my status immediately. Instead, I quickly put it down in my phone to remember and blog.

During team practice on Monday with my 6-8 year olds, I had them performing their competition routine in groups of three. After each group performed each girl had to tell the group a good thing they did and something they need to work on. After one of the groups finished and it was time to review them, this is what one of my 7 year olds (2nd grade) threw out there....

"Elaina had so much energy that she was like a word and she bolded herself!!!!!!!" - Marisa T.

I was pretty much on the floor laughing. 
This also happened, around the same time. Islay decided she could fit in my ottoman. She chilled in there the whole time we did groups (15-ish minutes). Again, cracking me up from cuteness overload.

I'll leave you with that on this Wednesday morning. 
I can't wait for the day this little bean starts talking. I have a feeling that with their daddy...they are going to be quite the pair to hang out with! 

It feels so much better having this all on my blog where it belongs instead of Facebook. These are all things I want to remember and yeah, I know people are reading, but that's not why I post on here. I do it so one day I can read them all and have a good laugh :) I love it. 

Great day already!

Monday, March 4, 2013

Life WIthout Facebook & Pinterest: Day 1 Results

Day #1- Monday, March 4th
So, it's the end of Day 1 and it was actually quite hard to not go onto either Facebook or Pinterest all day. I have a few things to admit. I am horribly addicted. In the past (as in yesterday even) I may have even checked it at red lights. That's not only dangerous, but sadly makes me realize I really was/am addicted to Facebook. Today, I put my phone in the glove box while driving. It's also helped to have no Facebook or Pinterest app on my phone. I got home from dance tonight and Matt said, "I accidentally went on your Facebook. I was on the computer and accidentally signed on just by habit. You had 11 notifications." Immediately I asked, "What were they??!! I mean..I don't care. Damnit, yes I do!"....."You got a message from Jenna & Renato (my exchange brother from Brazil). Jenna supports your decision and Renato's getting married." So, only because Facebook is my only line of communication with Renato, I opened Facebook, looked at nothing other than that one message, and let him know we can't come to the wedding because I'll be 36 weeks pregnant, but I love him a ton. Then I closed out FAST. I text Jenna back instead of FBing back and never actually read the message myself, Matt read it aloud to me. 
I feel good about myself.
Added to my awesomeness today, I decided to not watch The Bachelor anymore either. We don't want our kids watching things like that, so I'm not going to either. So right now, we have Subsonic playing on our Apple TV. I'm going to take a night shower to relax so I can maybe sleep tonight and then read one of my birthing books, "Mindful Birthing." The whole books about being mindful...being present. Which is exactly what I'm trying to do in general. Pretty helpful.

Anyways. Day 1...No Pinterest (first day in over a year and a half except when we were on the cruise & our honeymoon), No Facebook except for the one exception &...No Bachelor. I even had Matt tell me who wins. No for real...he told me.

I like this new simpler life already. I just hope I can hold to it. I know so many friends who have tried and unfortunately not succeeded. I feel like my goals are not unrealistic because I'm not going to get rid of Facebook...just use it more wisely. Before I can accomplish that I need a major break for at least a week. Probably more like a few months, but I'm taking it one day at a time.

This goes so beyond Facebook & Pinterest. I have lots of other things I'm working on. Many are difficult to fix, especially with my irrational hormones, but I'm getting there. Baby steps.
They are based off of the Corinthians verse (haven't gone to church long enough to know which one)....

Love is Patient.
(Working on being patient with Matt finding a job and doing things in his time and not mine. Working to lovingly encourage instead of pushing him).

Love is Kind.
(Working on being kind in general. To everyone. Even those who aren't kind to me. I'm just going to try to shine with kindness. Basically I'm going to pretend - but not talk like - everyone on this earth is one of my dance kids and how I treat them.) 

And the other one that popped out at church on Sunday big one!
Love does not BOAST or ENVY. 
I'm a bad one-upper. I caught myself doing that today in day to day conversations with people and would stop myself immediately. It made me feel terrible. Not necessarily even one-upping but I do a lot of, "Oh yeah, we did that too and.......!" kind of things. (Noticed myself in our text convo today --which I loved--, Mel...tried to stop it, sorry if it kept happening anyways).

I can't wait to find a good counselor to help me with all this. I want to be the best me I can be so that I can be the best mom I can be. 

Day 1 is over now and I feel good. 

This blog just took a new direction but that's okay. I'm totally 100% okay with our kids reading this one day. Hopefully it will help them if they are ever struggling, too. 

Good-night! This will be my last night in misery (hopefully), my huge ginormous pregnancy bed pillow gets here tomorrow!

Taking A Facebook/Pinterest Break!

I am so done with Facebook & Pinterest. 
Yes, I realize that in the past few days, I myself have posted a lot, but I'm really trying to stop because I think I'm addicted. Like a real addiction. It's not good. So for one week. (I'm starting small). I'm going to avoid Facebook and Pinterest. 

Facebook just annoys me & Pinterest just makes me want stuff I can't have.
Also, Facebook makes me feel like I have to do awesome things or I'm not good enough. It's weird, I know. But, I also know that I'm not alone in feeling that. It's like one big brag show and in order for me to change that in my other areas of life, I'm going to start there.

My Facebook and Pinterest apps were deleted from my phone last night and it felt good this morning to just wake up, have a cup of coffee and read a few good hearted blogs. That's more like it. 

I'm really working on changing a lot here. We have lived here for 4 years now and I have done a ton of changing, but it's still not enough. Not enough for our baby. So, I'm going to work on a few more things. I'm not embarrassed about that at all. Everyone has stuff to work on and my number one thing that annoys the shit out of me about myself (and I'm sure it's not everyone's favorite trait about me either) is that I like attention. Seriously, how annoying is that. Our child is NOT going to be the annoying kid bragging and wanting attention. I got no friends that way and am lucky to have family and close friends now who I always say, "get me". I don't want anyone to have to "get me" to be able to be around me, that's annoying. 

Anyways :) Oo, it feels good to write this all out. Makes it feel more real and permanent. Like, I can do this. 

So for this week, just to start, Facebook...gone.

My big goal is that I can use them both in a healthy way.
Facebook: Used to catch up with friends (my immediate family I talk to on the phone just about every day). Used to post "the bump" so my aunts, grandma & close friends can be excited about that. I thought about taking that away and realized it would hurt a lot of people so I'll just keep it (I did take the ultrasound photos off though because those I can share via email with those who I feel need to see them, ex. close friends, parents, siblings). Facebook will also to be used to post just on rare occasions or milestones. 

Pinterest: Used for information, recipes or ideas. Avoid pinning trips, fashion, etc. It's like pretend bragging and that's what I'm trying to avoid. Most of the trips on my Pinterest and clothes that I pin are very unrealistic so what's the point? I do love Pinterest for baby ideas. Ex: I have learned a lot about breastfeeding and cloth diapering from Pins I have found. I have also tried some incredible recipes and learned how to cook new things. Our entire nursery is like one big pin board/ideas in my head and that was fun and helpful. I'm a big fan of the Pinterest Secret Boards. If we're going on a trip and I want to pin clothes or adventures or things like that, I may use a secret board. We'll see. 

I just want to come a little more down to earth. Be a little closer to the here and now. To stop worrying so much about the future or about things we don't have. 

So..that's it. I'm taking a break from those worlds and am going to stay closer to real here on my blog. It's only 9am on Day 1 and it feels good already. Anyone who's reading this, I would super appreciate support and not judgement on this as I really am trying to work on stuff and be a better person. :) 

Time to go dance with all my littles now!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Sunny Sunday

Another beautiful day and we spent it at Alki Beach.
Fish and Chips and a long walk = a good day.
We spent our morning at church too, and that felt good.

Spuds Fish & Chips are our favorite. Mmm! (May have had tummy aches later, but so worth it) 

Matt's making some pasta with mild sausage and marina for dinner. Yummy! We're watching our new favorite show, "Worst Cooks in America."We had a nice day together and I'm really cherishing these last days of us being "alone".