Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Just Some Thoughts.

This summer has been the hardest summer of my entire life.
I have never ever worked this hard before and...I have never ever been this stressed before...or felt so much riding on my shoulders before. I have never before in my life felt so tight financially yet okay at the same time (making good choices). I have never before in my life been more exhausted. Never. Not ever. 

This summer has been amazing! I have learned so so much!
I would not trade any of that stress, exhaustion or worry for anything. Never, not ever.
Just one more month and things will fall into place. Just one more month of wondering.
Just one more month until our preschool program starts back up and we are okay. One more month until our studio is up and running.
Just one more month until all of our classes in all 11 of our locations are up and running.
Just one..more..month!
I can do this. I got this! (I think.)

Tonight I learned a lesson.
I cannot make everyone happy.
I had to make a difficult phone call, one I was dreading because I knew it would cause conflict.
I made the call. They were not happy and my response..."I cannot make you happy. I am doing all I can to make things run smoothly but it is just impossible right now for that to be." I said it and, I accepted that. And, I was okay 100% with saying that. I know, I will never make everyone happy. Not everyone will be in love with my teaching style or how I am running my business. But...the other 800 families I have right now are happy and I reminded myself of that throughout my entire conversation and I felt a calm over me because of it.
I got off the phone...walked out into the living room where I knew Matt heard the conversation.
Usually he has advice as to how I should handle those situations for the next time (very frustrating) having his Disney management experience he definitely knows how to deal with difficult situations.
But.....He said, "I listened to that entire situation and I could not have been more proud of you. You are growing up right in front of me." and he kissed me on the forehead. Then....I let all the tears I held in for the entire phone call listening to a woman tell me how my program is so awful...out. I have not cried yet this summer.
I am dancing everyday from 9-4pm and then two days a week I coach afterwards until 7:30pm. I. Am. Exhausted. But...haven't cried.

My iPad was stolen last week and I didn't cry.
I told myself it is just a "toy" and is easily replaceable. Yes, expensive...but we already have another one along with many other Apple gadgets. It did belong to our business so we will be getting another one as that was our "cash register", but we will be okay. It was okay. It is okay. 
My number one goal this month is to remain calm...take deep breaths and focus only on the positives.
That is the only way I will make it through this summer. 
This summer of working 60+ hours/week paying myself just about much as I can (sometimes not at all). 
One more month, one more month, one more month!
I have never been more excited about payday in my whole life. 
September 1st will be the best day ever. The day I can breathe again! 

I love my job and can never imagine doing anything else. But with it, there comes working with families every single day. I am in charge of all the finances for a company that started as a teeny tiny one to now one that actually does well. I am the choreographer, lesson planner, coach, instructor, manager, costume maker, everything lady. Yikes.'s what I've always wanted.
Is it hard work...yes. Is it worth it when I go to a community event (today) and had a least 10 kids run up to me for hugs...definitely! Wouldn't trade it for anything ever! 
I thought Disney was awesome getting hugs from so many cute kids all day...that was when they had no idea who I was. Now, having kids come up to me for hugs because they love that's the best thing ever! 

There are so many times throughout my summer camp days where I am so frustrated with the kids, but there are at least 10x's more times where they are cracking me up or making me so proud with what they are learning and accomplishing this summer. 

I had to vent. I'm doing my best to not let this affect me tonight and to not let it make me stressed. I'm doing all I can to de-stress. Nothing is going to ruin this calm I have going on lately. 

I feel better now...time to go watch so Men's Gymnastics (Matt's got it paused this entire time I've been writing...oooops). {best husband ever}


1 comment:

  1. I admire you so much for letting this all out! I'm sure it's super frustrating at times, but you are awesome for making your dreams a reality! I wish we lived closer so I could help you out at your studio :)